The Stories that we tell ourselves

This post is based on my most read monthly newsletter – please enjoy the thoughts about the stories that we tell ourselves.

A friend shared with me that the biggest challenge and limitation that he saw as a human resource leader was the stories that people tell themselves. When I asked him to elaborate, he replied, “I see the value in your work on curiosity, but I also understand the human condition. Often when we have a problem or are a problem, our own story keeps us stuck and from moving forward toward a solution.” Essentially, he was identifying how humans by default will deflect accountability or self-sabotage their own development simply by design of our unconscious. Often, we cannot imagine that there could be “another way”, “something else”, or “better choice”; moreover, by design humans lack the inherent desire, awareness, or ability to take accountability for their role in any situation. Often, we are not curious.

To keep us “safe”, our ego anchors in a position of being right. Curiosity will question the ego’s natural state. Some people can move through the uncomfortable moment and to be curious regardless of the outcomes, meanwhile, many cannot.

As he continued to elaborate, we spoke about how our ego is designed to always want to be right and successful and inadvertently our ego will blind us from taking the best step forward. So, in essence, we create our own walls towards progress and evolution.

When I first started this newsletter, one of the stories that I told myself was around how I would teach curiosity. Initially, I believed that that my curiosity classes could only be held at in-person gatherings at lunch time. This story was based largely on my personal preference for live connection and the joy that I derive from engaging with people. I had told myself a story that limited my potential. But then with the pandemic, I pivoted to an online format and found that I could engage with more people from around the world about curiosity. This unexpected plot twist has been an exciting part of the journey that was a result of becoming curious and re-imaging a scenario beyond my own self-imposed limitations.

So, looking back, is there a story or two that you tell yourself? What if you were 5% more curious what other outcomes could evolve? Here are this month’s articles which may help you be curious:

Why Successful people have a curious mindset

How Can You Tell Someone Has Exceptional Leadership Skills? It Boils Down to 1 Word

3 Questions CEOs Should Ask To Practice Deliberate Curiosity

Be curious, adaptable

Curiosity is an important as intelligence

I hope that you have enjoyed this month’s newsletter. If you would like to have an informational conversation with me about working with your company, please reply to this email and we can set up a time to talk!

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